Dude, my McJob be better than my rappin'! For schizzle, yo.

So whats the problem? Why is this even newsworthy? Apparently it's offencive to the "12.8 million Americans who work in the restaurant industry" according to Stephen Anderson, president of the National Restaurant Association (NRA...interesting parallel there, but we'll save it for a later date). I began to wonder: does K-Fed command enough star power to piss off the food service industry so much that simply by donning their uniform? I then began to think of other actors and actresses who have appeared in such roles their credits have gone unnoticed by the NRA. Is K-Fed really that bad?

Exhibit 1:Dante Hicks and Randall Graves (Clerks and Clerks 2). Ok, if I were a fast food employee, I would embrace these two for bringing some hilarity to the nine to five. If the sole sum of my existence totaled flipping burgers and making BigMacs, I would need anything to pass the long hours. Music, reading material, crack. Every little bit helps. Granted, I wouldn't condone torturing your religious co-worker (ok, I might) or getting your boss pregnant because you secretly despise the woman that you are currently dating, but still nothing screams respect and good old fashion morals like a Donkey Show right smack in the middle of the workplace. If this movie taught me anything, it would be that it is sometimes necessary (no matter how desperate, inane, or illegal it may be) do to whatever you can to get yourself through the day. Its just good for your sanity. Now, are these people better representatives for the restaurant industry than K-Fed? Well, about the only thing that K-Fed's life and this movie have in common is that they both feature people acting silly and getting overpaid for it, and that it contains scenes of inter-species erotica. Sorry Brittany...but lately, damn.

Exhibit 2: Jared from Subway. Granted, Jared is not exactly a fast food employee, but he defiantly did represent a substantial part of the industry. So here's the problem as I see it. How can the union of burger flippers be upset that K-Fed is in their commercials when this (ex) fat-ass stared in so many of them? I guess one justification would fall under the heading of job security. Seeing as Jared had to eat all those Subway sandwiches to supposedly loose all that weight, that would mean that statistically Jared would have single handedly kept the Subway chain in business for a majority of the 90's. As a scientist, I don't think that it is physiologically possible for one person to loose all that weight by simply eating Subway sandwiches. I don't ever remember seeing a six inch vegetarian sub with a side of liposuction on the menu anywhere. Therefore, is it better to be represented by a fraud like K-Fed, or a fraud like Jared? Pick your poison.

Exhibit 3: Ronald McDonald and Friends. It wouldn't be a complete survey of representatives without considering the Ronald McDonald gang. Seriously, compared to these creepy animated figures, K-Fed is way less strange. I remember being afraid of Grimace (the large purple thing that looks like the lovechild of Chris Farley and a purple bean bag chair) thinking that he would pop out of a closet and eat me when I was younger. Birdie (thing thing that kind of looks like cross between a duck and a canary) was addicted to lithium in all the commercials and always seemed constantly strung out. The so-called Hamburgler is an excellent roll model for children, glorifying crime and the sharing of food between a creepy clown and a wanted criminal. Then there was the kingpin himself, Ronald. Why the McDonalds corporation chose a clown to sell their magical Happy Meals to unsuspecting innocent children was just strange. Seriously, this group of suspects was a child molester's dream. As much as I hate to admit it, K-Fed is much more tame.